Hosting
There are different kinds of hosts. Some are great at food, others love the details, like the decorations, plates and extras. Some come alive with people, and others are relaxed and laid back, letting you just do as you please. Then there are the people who are not hosts at all. I fall into the last category. I've never been good at cooking, I enjoy the extras, but I can't bring myself to spend money on them and I'm not a people person. What I do love is the laid back houses. The people who just let you sit. There is no agenda, no time frame, they don't care if they knew you were coming. These are the people I am thankful for. The people who are great at just being.
If thought about it, many of us would easily admit that our families were we can just be, I'm sure we could pick out the people who are great at food, presentation and people within our own family, but when it comes down to just people together as a family, those things are not as important. It is the being and the being together that makes them your family.
When I got my first job in another State I was amazed at how quickly I found that family that doesn't treat me as a guest, the family that expects I'm coming eventually, but doesn't change anything about what they are doing because of the fact. This was the kind of family where I spent just as much time with their 2 year old boy as I did with his mom. These are the kinds of people who you are around because you need another beating heart, another moving body, and you know they are that reminder that others are breathing in and out and you are doing so together.
Sure there are times when you work out a problem together, have others over for a great meal, or share a special occasion together, but more often than not you can't point to exactly what you did together. Together there was life, and that's all that mattered.
I remember one sunny afternoon several years after meeting this particular family when I realized I had spend hours hanging out in the backyard and never really thought about what time it was or what I should do with the day. The day had passed as we had lived, doing nothing in particular, but to be in that day. There are many days now when I read having a whole day to myself. What can I do to entertain myself, I worry. It's amazing how having your people around doesn't beg this question, you're going to be together, and that's enough.
Having moved to RVA several months ago I was delighted to come across another family who knows how to be. Living just above me I often find myself walking up the hill and knocking on their door. I know when I get there they will be passing the day together and I look forward to joining their ability to just be. As we share heart beats and space, as we breath in and out it is wonderful to know that there are other people who can give testimony to your being, who know you exist and encourage you to be as they do the same around you, without saying a word.
If thought about it, many of us would easily admit that our families were we can just be, I'm sure we could pick out the people who are great at food, presentation and people within our own family, but when it comes down to just people together as a family, those things are not as important. It is the being and the being together that makes them your family.
When I got my first job in another State I was amazed at how quickly I found that family that doesn't treat me as a guest, the family that expects I'm coming eventually, but doesn't change anything about what they are doing because of the fact. This was the kind of family where I spent just as much time with their 2 year old boy as I did with his mom. These are the kinds of people who you are around because you need another beating heart, another moving body, and you know they are that reminder that others are breathing in and out and you are doing so together.
Sure there are times when you work out a problem together, have others over for a great meal, or share a special occasion together, but more often than not you can't point to exactly what you did together. Together there was life, and that's all that mattered.
I remember one sunny afternoon several years after meeting this particular family when I realized I had spend hours hanging out in the backyard and never really thought about what time it was or what I should do with the day. The day had passed as we had lived, doing nothing in particular, but to be in that day. There are many days now when I read having a whole day to myself. What can I do to entertain myself, I worry. It's amazing how having your people around doesn't beg this question, you're going to be together, and that's enough.
Having moved to RVA several months ago I was delighted to come across another family who knows how to be. Living just above me I often find myself walking up the hill and knocking on their door. I know when I get there they will be passing the day together and I look forward to joining their ability to just be. As we share heart beats and space, as we breath in and out it is wonderful to know that there are other people who can give testimony to your being, who know you exist and encourage you to be as they do the same around you, without saying a word.
Comments
Post a Comment